Monday, March 27, 2006

Cancer

My great grandma has cancer. We received the results of her biopsy a couple of days ago and that's what it is. CANCER!! I can hardly believe it. She seems so vibrant, so young, so healthy. Grandma will be 80 in August and I don't know if she will make it until then. They have said there is no cure, that the cancer is so far progressed and so aggressive that treatment at this point would be useless. We are praying for no pain, and some happy times before she goes. Grandma doesn't want us to have false hope, she wants us to be realistic and prepared for what's going to happen. She wants us to spend time with her and to love being with her. The doctor has given her 6 months to 1 year. That is not much time. Katy will be a year old in just a few months and time has gone so quickly. Every minute counts and this has really made me realize that more than ever. I've been so anxious for Katy to crawl, yet I want her to be little for ever, I want her to be safe and always with me. We watched RENT over the weekend and it really put things in perspective, we only have today!! Live it to the fullest. I've decided I'm not going to worry and obsess about my messy house anymore, I'm going to sit and play with my daughter and enjoy every, single, silly, fun, wonderful moment with her. I'm going to worry about money less, you can't take it with you anyway. I'm going to laugh more and forgive. If there is anything my Grandma taught me over the years it's patience and love. She is the most gentle, yet determined person I have ever known. We will miss her when she's gone, but we will love her while she's still here!! We will enjoy the time we have and revel in the good!!

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