Friday, June 30, 2006

An UPDATE ~ The good, the bad and the ugly ~

~please note~ I started this post on Wednesday, but never finished it until now! That's why it sounds a bit out of place. THE GOOD What a day today has been. I got up, went to wake Kathryn and I sang her "happy birthday." Then John managed to swing by on a run and he went it to sing "happy birthday" to her. I frosted the cake that I had made last night and got it wrapped up for daycare. I almost dropped the cake twice on the way out, but we made it into the car and to the daycare center safe and sound. Miss Lori had all the kids lined up inside just waiting for Kathryn and they sang to her again. I almost dropped the cake, again. She got a gift from the daycare, $10.00 from John's parents, $10.00 from my biological father, a package from Great Grandma Jensen, $1.00 and a keepsake doiley from Great Grandma Bills. There are a few more things on the way yet for her. Since John is working tonight, she will get to open the rest of her gifts tomorrow night with both of us. Overall I think she had a pretty good first birthday. All things considered. However I did just put her to bed, which is somewhat early for her. But when you only take one nap and are being onery, even birthday girls have to go to bed at some point. THE BAD I'm in the process of finding a new job. This is really bad timing! We were supposed to be ordering carpet this weekend, but now can't. We were supposed to have a week off in July, but now can't. I should say I can't, John will get to have the week off with Kathryn, but I doubt a new job is going to let me have a week off after just starting! We were supposed to be going to a weekend family reunion in July, but now can't. We were supposed to have a big thing this weekend and drive into Wyoming to get fireworks and have a BBQ with some friend, and now we can't. Being poor sucks!!! I'm glad that I have over a month to find something, the thing is that I don't want to be looking! I want things to stay they way they are! THE UGLY John doesn't want me to try and find another assistant position. He wants me to terminate my Realtor license and work for what he calls a "normal" company. We've been fighting about it for 2 days now. I will find a job where ever I have to. I will take what's available, but I have worked so hard to get where I'm at right now, I'm not too eager to throw it all away. However this is the 3rd time that this has happened. I've been with three agents and once again I'm getting the boot! Not because I can't do the job or because they don't like me, but because they are going somewhere that I can't follow! I wish that I could just uproot and make it happen, but I can't. My husband has a good job here, our family is here. I guess what it all comes down to is sacrifice. I really am willing to do what it takes to make sure my family is taken care of. I'm just not overly happy about having to do it! I feel selfish for even writing that. John and I came to a truce of sorts. I will look for a job that has insurance, paid vacation, paid sick leave and normal business hours. I will work there for 5 years. THEN, I can do the Realtor thing again! It's not what I want, but it will work and we can all be happy about it. The fact that it could always be worse keeps playing through my mind. They could have not given me any notice. I could have just walked in one day and ended up walking right back out! At least this way I'm prepared for it and able to have something lined up. There is always a silver lining, but when it rains it pours!!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #7

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Thirteen things that have happened in the past week 1. My baby is no longer a baby - Kathryn turned one year old yesterday 2. I found out a friends grandma is in the hospital and not doing well 3. I found out that I need to find a new job 4. I have 45 days to find one 5. I'm sad that my team is moving on 6. I'm even sadder that they are moving to a place that I cannot follow 7. I had an awesome weekend with family 8. I miss my neices and nephews who were here 9. I survied a week with my MIL and SIL 10. I fought with my husband (about something really stupid) 11. I made up with my husband 12. I had chinese food (I haven't had it for so long and it was so very yummy!!) 13. I might already have another job lined up (cross your fingers, okay!) Check out the other Thursday Thirteeners below. Only link if you have a current Thursday Thirteen! NO COMMENTS NECESSARY, just glad you stopped by!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow. It's only a day away!!!!

My baby is going to be a year old tomorrow! I can hardly believe that a year has gone by so quickly. I've been thinking of all the things the last year has taught me and how much things have changed. I've also thought a lot about how much better things are now then they were a year ago. Not only for me and John, but for our whole family. She has been such a blessing in so many ways to so many people. I want to wait a while to have more kids, but I'm so very glad that Kathryn came to us when she did. God knows and sees everything and he knew that we were ready for a child. Even though we didn't know it ourselves, He knew. John has to work tomorrow night, so Kathryn and I will have a quiet celebration. Then probably on Saturday we will have a get together with all the family and friends. Should be fun and I can't wait to give her the presents we got her. Nothing too extravagant, because we just don't believe in spoiling her too much, but some fun things. I'll be talking lots of pictures and also video for all to see. The day has finally come and I'm just so thrilled I could cry. In fact I think I might cry, because I'm also sad that this year has gone by so quickly!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

From the mouths of babes and other things

John's brother Richard went home today with Trish and his kids. We had a really fun time yesterday at the Riot Zone and a good time today visiting and playing volleyball. I made it through the weekend with both my MIL and my SIL Melissa. Miracles do still exist! It is always a experience getting 7 children together. They all have great imaginations and the things they say sometimes just blow me away! Kyle 13 Cameron 11 Kayleen 9 Clarice 5 Bryden 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Kayleen: You're cute, but I'm cuter Clarice: yeah, because you have bigger boobs! ~~~~~~~~~~ Clarice: oh no, are you okay Bryden? Bryden: I think so, I just hurt my toushie, so I put some leaves on it! ~~~~~~~~~~ Kyle: I like this girl from my school Cameron: you just like her cause she has big boobs Kayleen: like mine? ~~~~~~~~~~ John: you had to take sex ed this year didn't you? Kyle: yea, but all I remember is mat... uh... how do you say it?, maturation. Cameron: what's maturation? Kyle: I don't think I said that right! John how do you say it? Kayleen: what's so funny Jenn? (I was laughing so hard at this point I could barely breathe.) John had to tell the kids that we would have to talk about masturbation some other time! ~~~~~~~~~~ Kyle: Kathryn has the biggest cheeks! I hope my kids have cheeks like hers. Kayleen: that's gross Kyle Kyle: not her butt cheeks, her cheek cheeks! ~~~~~~~~~~ Bryden: if you want to you can come to my house Clarice: I don't want to Bryden: but if you want to you can Clarice: I don't want to, thanks Bryden: but you can Clarice: no thanks, I'm not deaf you know Bryden: okay, I'm sorry............... so do you want to come? Clarice: boys these days *rolling her eyes* ~~~~~~~~~~ John (picking Kathryn up): baby you're so heavy! You need to join Jenny Craig Clarice (laughing hysterically): Jenny Craig? That's a good one!! (pretty sure she doesn't know who Jenny Craig is, but the timing was perfect!!) ~~~~~~~~~~ It was a really nice break for all of us. We had a lot of fun with the kids. Friday night Kayleen, Kyle and Cameron came to spend the night at our house and we went to a drive in movie. They'd never been to one before so it was fun to take them. On Saturday night Kayleen and Kyle wanted to spend the night again so they came back to town with me. Neither one of them wanted to sleep on the floor so they ended up in bed with me! John came home and had to sleep on the floor because their was no room left on the bed! However, I wish I had ended up on the floor. Sleeping with two wiggly children reminded me why we've always made it a point to put Katy to sleep in her own bed. I could barely sleep, but I was stuck in the middle so there was no where to go! ~~~~~~~~~~ John's car wouldn't start Friday night after he got to Melissa's. We pulled the battery out and tested it. Dead as a door nail. I sent him down with a new battery and cables to fix it, Kathryn and I are going to go take a nap. I'm exhausted, but getting excited for the family reunion in 3 weeks!

Friday, June 23, 2006


Don't forget to go check out the Blogging Chicks carnival #2. There are many great ladies with wonderful posts participating. I missed the boat on this one, but will try to remember to submit something next time!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - reasons

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Thirteen things that annoy me about blogging 1. it is so addicting that I can hardly pull myself away from the computer, even to pee. 2. all the unwritten rules such as: 3. you have to post when visiting someone elses Thursday Thirteen 4. you can't express how you feel about a blogroll without getting hate mail 5. if you consistently visit someone's blog, but don't comment you are evil. 6. if you blogroll someone they should blogroll you back ~ end of dumb rules 7. the mommy blog cliques 8. people who only post once every two weeks and then bitch about how no one ever visits them. 9. the mind numbing, stupor that I somehow fall into when visiting some of my favorite blogs 10. the look of zombie-ness on my face after I'm done blogging, and the drool that the zombie-ness causes 11. the people with so many blinkies that I have to adjust my screen just to read it 12. blogs with dual sidbars. why do they need so much stuff? 13. my want for more and more and more blog buddies Because of the nature of this post, I'm turning off the comments. Now even if you want to comment you can't. Just read, enjoy and don't forget to come back real soon, ya hear?
Links to other Thursday Thirteener's. Please don't leave a link unless you have a CURRENT Thursday Thirteen post, or you are giving away free stuff!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A week with the Fockers - I mean my in-laws

I'm running out of clever title for my entry's. I need some type of a program that would take my entries and give them titles to match what I've written about! Alas, I can't find anything to match my entry's to my titles. If anyone know of any such invention, please let me know! ~~~~~~~~~~ John's brother Richard is here on vacation with his family and it has been crazy! I really have not been home now for 6 weekends in a row and it's driving me nuts! My house is a wreck. There is laundry all over the place, the kitchen needs once again to be cleaned top to bottom. I need to once again go through all the babies clothes and sort them. She grows out of things so quickly that it's hard for me to keep up. ~~~~~~~~~~ I have a stupid head cold, sore throat, runny nose, head ache, the usual crap. I know that a large part of it is due to being on the go so much and not getting enough sleep. It also could be due to the fact that I've not been exercising as much this past month as I had been trying to before. We've been eating out more, since we haven't been at home. Kathryn and John both had colds as well, so I may have caught something from them. ~~~~~~~~~~ I have so much to get done before we get carpet next month and I'm lacking any sort of motivation to complete it. Before the baby was born her room was my scrapping room. Since we found out she was coming it was all moved into the corner of our dining room. It has been growing and reproducing since then! We are getting rid of some of the furniture and going to be rearranging things to make more effective use of our space. The scrappin table will become the computer desk as well. We are moving our dining room table so we can actually DINE at it. I'm hoping if I can get this cleaned off and looking better it will give me better motivation to keep it that way. My problem is that I lack the energy when I get home to do any of it and unless I can get it out of the way Saturday morning it only gets worse and worse. ~~~~~~~~~~ We are supposed to be going to the Riot Zone this weekend with all the kids and John's family this weekend. Should be really fun, they have mini golf, go-carts, bumper boats, a climbing wall and some other various things. I may have my mom watch Kathryn that day so we don't have to worry about interrupting her naptime schedule. My MIL has offered to watch her while at the park, but I'm just not sure that's a good idea. I would probably spend my day watching and making sure that she's not getting too much sugar and that she's actually taking some sort of a nap. ~~~~~~~~~~ which brings me to my next point. On Sunday we were all outside playing Volleyball at MIL's house. Kathryn was asleep in the house and I had gone in several times to check on her. MIL was in the house and I asked her "if you hear Kathryn will you yell out to me and I'll come get her?" She agrees that she will and I head back out side to play. About 15 minutes later MIL comes outside with Kathryn, which was fine and very nice of her, but I wish she had called me. She sits down on the side with Kathryn and is holding her playing with her, which again is fine and I'm grateful for her help. Kathryn seem content and everything was going fine, until I notice that she keeps covering her up with a fleece blanket. Now The Bug love her fleecy, but not when it's 88 degrees outside, so she keeps pushing it away only to be covered up again. Our game is almost over, and she seemed to be fending for herself, so what the heck might as well finish the game instead of having to make everyone stop and wait for me to go find out what the heck is going on and why she keeps covering her. *catching my breath* 2 minutes later I hear Kathryn let out her "give that to me know, before you loose an eye" scream and look over to see Grandma happily give her more Root Beer, which is what she was yelling for. I roll my eyes, call over to john to make sure he notices what his daughter is being given and he just shrugs. Again the game is almost over, so whatever let it go, right? Then the screaming starts again and I see more Root Beer being administered to my child. At this point I can't stand it any more and go to investigate what is going on. By the time I get across the lawn, defeating all the sprinkler hoses, shoes and blankets my child is screaming again for her sugary, carbonated goodness. Grandma willing obliges and hands over the soda can. At which point it goes spilling down both Grandma and Kathyn. Oh, the sticky, ooey, gooey, sugary mess. It's all over her, the blanket, my new camping chair that we had set up, and someone's camera that was on the ground! Nice move Grandma!! At this point I notice that something smells very wet, like urine wet. It of course was Kathryn, who didn't get changed after getting up from her nap. I wisk her away to give her a wet wipe bath, change her clothes and her butt. The MIL gives me this insulted, injured look and says "I didn't want to interrupt your game, I was just trying to help," and proceeds to pout. Give me a freaking break!! You aren't seriously pouting? Oh, wait yes you are, because that is what you do. Get all butt hurt then run to my husband and make him feel guilty about how rude I was. I was rude? No, you were rude. You were rude for not doing what I asked. Why is it so hard for the MIL to do what I ask when it comes to MY child? I feel like there is a constant power struggle going on between us. I hate it so much, you have no idea. How hard would it have been to call me so I could get her up, CHANGE her and bring her out side. Oh, yeah, the blanket thing? "I didn't want her to get sunburned, it was so hot out." Yeah, it was hot out, that's why I had sunscreen sitting on the counter, which again would have been put on her had I simply been called when she woke up. ~~~~~~~~~~ Boy am I looking forward to the rest of this week with the in-laws!! The nieces and nephews are great and John's brother has been awesome to hang out with. If I could just stay clear of the MIL for a few more days, yes, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been successfully avoiding Melissa for the most part this week. Thankfully she's been too busy to be at the house much, but will be there this weekend. :(

Friday, June 16, 2006

My life - without pictures

I told you I would get this done and here it is. I've been tagged for the first time ever by Mommy off the Record. I'm not tagging anyone, because some people hate being tagged, but if you would like to be tagged, well consider yourself tagged. I couldn't find the pictures that I wanted for this post, sorry. Later when I have more time I'll post them for all to see. 20 years ago: I was 2 1/2 and I don't remember much. My mom had just gotten remarried, I had a new brother and a new dad. I also had a little sister on the way. 10 years ago: Was the first year that I was homeschooled. I loved it! We had a lot of fun that year, but also a lot of stuggles as we all adjusted to our new way of doing things. That summer was filled with evening games of freeze tag and slumber parties! 5 years ago: I was getting ready to graduate early and was so glad that school was over and done with. I had my drivers license, and my first part time job. This was the summer that I started working full time. I was also saving for my own car and wanting to get an apartment. I remember not being home much this summer and hanging out a lot with friends and having BBQ's 3 years ago: I was a very much a newlywed. I had only been married for 3 months! I was working full time at a local music store and my husband had just started a new job. We had this dinky, crummy apartment, but the rent was so cheap we didn't care! 1 year ago: I started having contractions! My mom took me into the hospital to be monitored and see if they were really contractions or Braxton Hicks. They were real, but not very strong. I spent the next 12 days having different levels of contractions and being dilated 3-4cm before the finally induced me on the 28th. (the same day she gave labor!) Yesterday: I worked late and came home to find my husband had put Kathryn to bed . I was sad because I didn't get to see her, but grateful that he had taken care of things. Today: I hope to get off work in time to snuggle my baby and put her to bed. Tomorrow: I will spend the day with my BIL and his kids who are here visiting from Utah. Kathryn will get to spend more time with her cousins Next Year: My baby won't be a baby anymore, she will be turning two. It will be time to start convincing my husband that we need another baby!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

This will be quick, but long

I need to make an update entry. I've been gone for 4 days, but it feels more like 2 weeks. I won't be doing Thursday Thirteen today, I just dont have enough time. ~~~~~~~~~~ The funeral is over and we are starting to get back to our routines and somewhat normal lives. I went to change some things yesterday in my online photo albums and was sending some pictures out. I almost sent one to Grandma Harmon, it's just a habit to send her new pictures when I get them! It made me sad that she wouldn't get to see these, but now she sees everything so it's okay. ~~~~~~~~~~ Work has been really, really busy. I have an aunt and uncle that are moving back here from St. Louis and I've been helping them to find a house. Also a couple of the guys on my team have been gone this week, so I've really been having to juggle a lot! ~~~~~~~~~~ John's oldest brother Richard is coming this weekend with his 5 kids and fiance Trish. They will be here for 10 days and we will be spending a lot of time with them. That means daily trips back and forth to the MIL's house. At least with so many people there I don't have to talk to her much. Now if I can just avoid Melissa a bit I'll probably be okay! ~~~~~~~~~~ We have tickets for Friday night to go and see Brian Regan! We are soooo very excited. He is our favorite comedian and we can hardly wait for the show. John's been counting down the days for the past week. ~~~~~~~~~~ My Grandpa has a stroke yesterday and is in the hospital. He's 6 hours away though and we won't be going to see him. They are going to keep him for a few days and then release him. Thankfully it's not anything more serious. Not that a stroke isn't serious, but it wasn't so bad he won't be able to move ever again or anything like that. ~~~~~~~~~~ I was tagged like a million years ago to do a meme and haven't had any time. I didn't forget about you, I promise I'll get to it before the week is over though. I'm supposed to include some pictures, but I don't have a lot that are on my computer, so I might have to modify it a bit. ~~~~~~~~~~ Katy has a runny nose, I've got a stuffy head and sore throat and John woke up this morning with a cough. We are all catching a cold and it stinks! I can manage when just The Bug gets a cold, but when all of us have it, it's just downright miserable. Especially because I have to take care of all of us. ~~~~~~~~~~ I'm still working on getting my scrapping corner cleaned up and organized. It's such a mess right now and in two weeks we are donating a bunch of stuff to the Deseret Industries, so I have to have it done by then. I didn't realize how much CRAP I've got sitting around not being used. If I don't get it all cleaned up, John says he will just start throwing stuff away! I know he will actually do it, so I really have to get cracking. ~~~~~~~~~~ Send some sugar over to SugarMamma. She just found out she will be having a new lil' bean and she needs all the positive energy she can get. Even if it is cyber energy! ~~~~~~~~~~ I think that is all for now. I will try to make it over to everyone and get caught up. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayer, kind works and virtual hugs. They have been so very helpful and some of them I have re-read just to get a bit of a pick me up. I have laughed, cryed, and felt joy when receiving all the support you, my wonderful readers have shown. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Funeral Service

The viewing, the funeral service and the burial are all over with now. The funeral service was especially beautiful. The grandchildren and great grandchildren sang, my great aunt Karen gave the life sketch, my aunt Suzanne shared memories from all the grandchildren and a gentleman from the family history center spoke. They all did a wonderful job and I think it was just the way Grandma would have wanted. Her casket was beautiful, all pearly pale pink. John was able to go with us yesterday to the burial and I was so grateful! He is so good with Kathryn and was such a big help keeping her entertained and happy. We took the stroller and she kept throwing her toys out and yelling "uh oh" in the middle of the remarks. He faithfully kept offering the sippy cup and picking up all the toys. It seemed a bit drawn out with something three days in a row, but ended up being very nice. I'm just so grateful that we can get on with the grieving process and start to try and move on. It was kind of neat to make the drive to Paul and back home with my mom yesterday. Since she remembers visiting Grandma and Grandpa there, she showed us the house they used to live in and the pond out back that they were supposed to stay away from, but always snuck out to. She showed us were the post office was that Grandma worked at and told us how cool it was to not have to address anything. You could just put Eunice Harmon, Paul ID and she would get it handed to her each morning after the mail was sorted. Then we stopped in Blackfoot for lunch and Mom showed us the house she had lived in and the bridge her horse had gotten spooked on and almost bucked her off. We had a nice day doing a bit of sight seeing and talking with my mom. Her and I got into a long conversation about how things were so different growing up in the country versus the city. She has all these cool stories about horses and floating down the canal and the cool pets they had. My memories are all about the block parties and neighborhood kids. Then we talked about how different things were when Grandma grew up on a farm and helped her parents work it. How they had to do so many different things to make it all run smoothly and how they had to all work together. Grandma talked about her farming days a lot, so it was neat to see were some of it took place. We'll miss her and hold her forever in her hearts. She was a wonderful mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, great grandmother and great great grandmother. She touched so many peoples lives and helped so many people learn so much. I will always remember her wonderful example and try to follow it. She was a treasured part of our family.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

She is Gone

~This post will stay at the top of my blog for a few days. Scroll down for the rest of my life~ Great Grandma Eunice Harmon passed away at 11:55 am 6-6-06 this morning. She is finally with the angels and resting peacefully.
We are so relieved that she is no longer suffering. Her spirit has left us and is walking among loved ones long since gone. I know she is having a wonderful reunion in heaven right now with Great Grandpa. She will be very, very missed by family and many friends alike. We will remember her love of genealogy, sweet smile, soft hands, warm heart and loving gestures. She will not be forgotten and will hold a very special place in our hearts. The viewing will be Thursday night. Funeral services on Friday and the burial on Saturday.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - Great Grandma

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Thirteen things about my Great Grandma Harmon 1. She always smelled good. 2. Her hands were always very soft 3. She had the most beautiful skin 4. She rarely went into the sun 5. Her legs were gourgeous, the nurses were always telling her she had the legs of a teenager. 6. She was kind to all around her 7. She was also stern and expected children to behave 8. Her passion was geneology and she was good at it 9. she loved teaching others about her passion 10. she could get snappy when she need to. she knew were she stood and she stood firm 11. she spoke softly, but with conviction 12. she loved her children and grandchildren and only wanted to best for them. 13. she always supported her children and grandchildren in their desicions, even if she didn't agree Links to other Thursday Thirteeners. Please only link if you have a current Thursday Thirteen, do not use my site to promote your other crap!! THANK YOU. Also no comments required, just glad you stopped by.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I've finally done it!!

I'm not as dumb as I thought I was. At least when it comes to HTML. The jury is still out on the remainder of my intelligence levels. John wanted a new template, but we couldn't find one that he liked. So I picked one that was okay, but needed some sprucing up. I figured out how to change the header image, the color of font and the footer image to what I wanted. I'm so proud of myself it's pathetic. Go check it out though and let me know what you think. Also I really love Pannasmontato Templates, they are so easy to install and modify. I wouldn't have been able to do anything if this wonderful gal didn't offer her templates for free use. I know it's not anything super fancy or cool, but John is way happy with it and that's what matters to me. Now if I could only find something cool for my own blog! While I'm on this subject, go check out Sugar Mamma's new look. I just love it!! ~~~~~~~~~~ On another note of something I've finally done! Melissa picked the kids up yesterday at Grandma's and she is supposed to be back into town by 6p.m. Surprise, surprise, she didn't make it until 6:35! I could have just screamed, but instead I was polite and just helped her unload all of Kathryn's stuff and told her thank you. I didn't say a word about her being late, or how I had a bunch of stuff to do and I was waiting on her. Double kudos to me!

Monday, June 05, 2006

I'm pleased to announce!

I know my blogroll has been up for a few days. This is the first chance I've had to announce my affiliation with Blogging Chicks. Go check them out!! Don't forget to visit some of the wonderful gals listed on my sidebar.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Saturday was....

Saturday was so nice. We got to do a lot of visiting with Bryan and Loralee. We also got to watch Ylexus and Michael for a while and that was fun. We had a BBQ that Cassi and I helped make for everyone. Mostly we just sat around and did nothing. Oh, we watched some home videos from when my Aunts and Uncles were little and that was pretty fun. I love stuff like that and it was funny to see the clothes they were wearing and the furniture. My mom was in some of them and she had these big glasses and crazy pants on. Great Grandma Harmon is still in a coma. We went in and talked to her for a bit. She tried to lift her hand when we were talking to her and she opened one eye. I'm not sure if it's her actually responding or if she is having some small spasms. I do know that her breathing changes when you go in and talk to her. She is now showing signs of heart failure. Again the hospice nurses are saying it won't be long. We'll see what happens. Cassi took Monday off, because we thought for sure the funeral would be that day. Since it's not going to be she is going to watch Kathryn on Monday for us. She has had Kathryn almost all weekend. She spent the night Friday and Saturday. She will probably spend the night again tonight. I've taken advantage and slept in as late as I could.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Second Update

Grandma is still in a coma. It has been four days now. The nurses are baffled as to why she isn't gone yet. She is having short periods when she quits breathing, but then starts up again. The family that is with her went in this morning and let her know that she can go. She doesn't need to try and hold on. Everything is taken care of and there is nothing for her to worry about. Yet she is still hanging on. She is still with us in body and spirit. We are going up again tonight to see her, if she is still here. I feel something is holding her back, but no one knows what. I hope she is released from this life soon. I want her to be at peace and be with our ancestors who have gone before.

Update and more venting

Once again I have something to bitch about with John's family. If you don't want to hear it look away! That's not my main focus today however, so I will start with Great Grandma. ~~~~~~~~~~ So far Great Grandma Harmon is hanging on. They have increased her pain medication, because there was some questioning of how comfortable she was. She is no longer on any oxygen and they will not increase her medication again. At least that is my understanding. I had a very strong feeling this morning that she had passed on. I haven't heard anything though and it makes me somewhat uneasy. It's hard to concentrate right now and I keep getting distracted. I feel like she is hanging on for some reason. I don't know if she is wanting to see someone that hasn't made it here yet, or what. It's kind of odd. My feeling this morning was also kind of weird. I was in that state between being awake and asleep and I saw a flash of her smile and she looked at peace. The I had a really strong feeling that the phone would be ringing any time and it would be that she was finally home. I then woke up fully and was just laying in bed wondering what that meant. I just talked to my mom and she hasn't heard anything and hasn't had a chance to call yet today. I'll try a bit later. ~~~~~~~~~~ Now on to the rest. Basically I've had it with John's sister. I don't know why Melissa tells me one thing and then John and his mother another. Here's what happened. Yesterday was my nephew Bryden's birthday. He is now four. I called to wish him a happy birthday and sing to him. He thought that was really cool. When I was done I talked to Melissa for a few minutes and told her that we wouldn't be able to make it to the birthday party on Saturday. Our dialogue went something like this: her - don't worry about it. I know you guys are busy and have a lot going on. Thanks for letting me know ahead of time. me - we will most likely be at a funeral this weekend. If not that we will be spending it with my family. her - okay, I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. Let us know if we can do anything to help. me - thank you. I'll keep that in mind, but I'm sure we will be fine. her - okay, but really don't hesitate to call if you need anything. Even if you just need to talk. me - thanks. Oh, by the way. We won't be bringing a gift for Bryden, but maybe we could get together next weekend. We just can't afford it right now with everything else that is going on. her - don't worry about it. I've asked people to not bring gifts. Especially toys, he has way too many. I don't even really want to do the party, but Travis says we have to. His family won't let us get away with NOT doing one. So yeah, whatever. If you guys want to great, if you can't that's fine too. Like I said I don't really want to have a party and he doesn't need anymore toys. me - well I better go. We'll talk to you guys soon and maybe we can get together after things slow down a bit. THEN, this morning John calls me. him - what did you tell Melissa yesterday about us not going to the party? me - I told her we couldn't make it because we would probably be at a funeral. him - is that how you said it? me - yes, WHY? him - because Melissa told my mom this morning that she didn't understand why we couldn't be there. She said you were too vague and that you didn't give her a reason. me - I DID give her a reason AND she said it was no big deal whether we are there or not. him - okay. Did you say anything about a gift? me - yes. I told her that we wouldn't be getting him one, which she also said would be okay. He doesn't need anymore toys anyway. him - well she told my mom this morning that we weren't getting a gift for him and she thought it was rude. me - I don't care what she thinks and if this is the way she felt, then she should have told me. Besides the fact that I wasn't VAGUE in the least. How much clearer could I possibly be. We will be at a FUNERAL this weekend, and if not we will be with my FAMILY! How is that vague? Can you please tell me? him - honey calm down. It's okay. You don't need this extra stress. I shouldn't even have told you. I just wanted to know what you said to her. me - you're right I don't need any of this extra stress. I don't care what she thinks, I just wish she wouldn't back stab me. Don't tell me it's okay and then go whining and crying to your mother because I'm rude. She's rude! She isn't dealing with the stuff I'm dealing with. She's the one that's rude. ~by this time my blood is boiling and I'm about ready to turn into the incredible Hulk.~ him - it's okay, I don't care what she thinks either and I'm going to talk to her today about this. I've had it with her bad mouthing you. It's rude and unacceptable behavior. me - thank you. I really can't deal with this right now so tell her if she has something to say, say it to my face and get off my back about not coming to her stupid party and not bringing her bratty obnoxious kid a present and I'm SOOOO sorry for being vague and such a terrible rude person and not giving her a reason why we won't be there when really it's none of her damned business in the first place.....(insert heavy breathing here. after that sentence I had to catch up.) him - my other line is ringing. I'll talk to you later. ~~~ By the time John called me back I had cooled off enough that I was no longer green. I was just annoyed. John says to not worry about it, so I guess I won't. He has talked to her and I guess she is okay. She is okay, because John basically told her, you have no other choice than to be okay with this, because I won't put up with this kind of crap. ~~~ Issue solved, it just stills irks me to no end. At this point I'm feeling like I just want to avoid her. I don't need her stressful and negative attitude affecting me. I refuse to put myself in that kind of a situation. Okay, enough venting for one day. I better get back to work. Glad that I'm a fast typist, otherwise this would have taken forever. ~~~~~~~~~~ I'll be updating the situation with Grandma as time and my emotions permit. Thank you all for your kind words and prayers for our family. We are truly grateful for your sentiments! ~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - my blessing

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Thirteen things about my daughter Kathryn 1. She gave my husband another reason to live. 2. She pulled my mom out of her depression and gave her newfound joy. 3. She is the first great grandaughter in our family. 4. She is the first great, great, grandaughter in our family. 5. She is a peacemaker 6. She brings joy to our home. 7. She has a smile that will melt your heart. 8. She is stubborn, kind of like me. 9. When she wants something she knows how to get it. 10. I don't know what I would do without her. 11. She helped me fall in love with my husband all over again. 12. She is always so happy and easy going 13. She is a wonderful treasure straight from our Heavenly Father above. Links to other Thursday Thirteen's! Please only link if you have a CURRENT thursday thirteen. Comments not required! Thanks for stopping by!