Great Grandma Update - Coma

Grandma is now in a coma. She can hear everything we say and is responding somewhat, but there is no real movement. We went to see her tonight and it was so hard. I didn't even feel that she was really there. I know's that's because she is some where else, her spirit has gone somewhere else to be away from her pain. Her breathing is very, very shallow and they have taken her off the oxygen. (The phone just rang and I thought it was my mom saying she was gone. She just wanted to let me know that my sister will be here this weekend.) The hospice nurse said again today, as she had already said Sunday that we are down to hours. We are basically planning on having the viewing Sunday night, Funeral Monday and burial Tuesday. It's weird to be making plans based around a funeral. I'm going to notify work tomorrow that I will need Monday and Tuesday off. Bryan and Loralee are here and will stay until after the funeral. Bryan was in with Grandma and asked if she wanted a foot rub, she actually said "yes" and moved her leg a bit. He is so sad to get here and not even be able to talk to her. I'm eternally grateful that we got to see her over Mother's Day weekend and that she was able to visit with us then. We are having a family prayer tonight that she will soon be released from this earth and return to the heaven's above. My mom wrote a beautiful poem that I will share later. It came to her as she was driving home from work and it fits Grandma so well. She will be very much missed, but I know she is glad to go "home" and be with Grandpa again. I just wanted to write some feelings before bed. I will have a lot of catching up to do when I get back. I'm posting my Thursday Thirteen which I did a few days ago tonight so that it will be up. Make sure to add your link.

Family update and other stuff

This post will probably be my last for a few days, so I wanted to give some updates before I forget what is going on. ~~~~~~~~~~ Kathryn just got a new tooth and there is another breaking through as I type. She has been wrotten the past few days and doing all the normal teething stuff. I'm glad they've finally broken through and we will be done with that for a few more months. ~~~~~~~~~~ John hasn't been feeling well today and I don't know if it's allergies again, or if he is getting something more serious. Oh, I hope it's just allergy stuff. He is such a baby when he's sick. I sent him to bed early and I hope he is doing better in the morning. ~~~~~~~~~~ We are supposed to go to a Birthday Party at Heise this weekend for our nephew who is turning four. I love that place, but I don't want to go. When I go I like to hang out in the hot tub, not party with a bunch of four year olds and their neurotic mothers. These are Melissa's friends, not mine and that's why their a bit crazy. ~~~~~~~~~~ We have family coming from Canada this weekend to see Great Grandma. I hope they are not too late! This is my favorite Uncle Bryan and his wife Loralee. I'm really excited to see them, which is the other reason I'm not overly thrilled to attend the above event. ~~~~~~~~~~ I'm tired and want to have another weekend to myself. The last one was so wonderful that I'm feeling selfish and want to recreate it. This however won't happen. Better luck next time! ~~~~~~~~~~ My crazy cat is in heat again and it's driving me crazy. I can't wait until we can get her fixed. Not that she's broken, just annoying as all heck. She wanders around the house, moaning and sticking her butt up in the air. If it weren't so danged expensive, we would have had it done long ago. Besides I'm sick of my husband shooing her out of the way and saying "no Fido, I don't want to have sex with you!" ~~~~~~~~~~ I know that we are going to get a guilt trip from the family for not going to the party this weekend, but I really don't care. I already told Melissa we won't be getting a gift. She was totally fine with it and agreed that he already has too many toys. However I've already been told that John's mom is going to buy Bryden a gift and put our names on it. Whatever makes her happy I guess and as long as I don't have to pay her back, fine! ~~~~~~~~~~ It is going to be a busy week at work, if today was any kind of an indicator. We have a lot going on. I'm grateful that our team is doing so well, yet am curious when I will be able to start working at home. Maybe after the summer when all the guys are back full time we can tackle that subject. ~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you all for your kind comments and words of support with everything that has been going on with my Great Grandmother. We are now down to days, unless something miraculous happens. That is where I'll be over the next few days. Please keep my family in your prayers if you wouldn't mind. Thanks again! Some days I don't know what I would do without your nice comments. ~~~~~~~~~~ Now I'm going to go to bed myself, seeing as Katy, John and amazingly Fido are already there each of them sound asleep.

New Look

~update~ It has just come to my attention that some of you are having trouble viewing the posts and they are at the bottom of the page. I've been using Firefox with no problems. So if you are using IE, sorry I don't know how to fix it!~ After being inspired by Trish and Kel, who are both sporting new blog designs, I started looking around for something to fit my budget. Free, that is. I had looked at several sites that offered some free templates, but really didn't like any of them. I found one I can live with and that makes me happy for now. I know I will either end up spending the next year trying to figure out on my own how to do it. Or I will spend it saving up to have someone design one for me. Either way this one is much better than what I had and it works. I even had an easier time editing it. Don't know if that's because I'm getting the hang of it a bit, or if I'm truly seeing things and this one does have less HTML gobbledy gook. Which is what it seemed. Either way I think its a vast improvement. Thanks Trish and Kel for getting the ball rolling for me. Kudos also to Pannasmontata Templates for letting others use their designs.

Why do we do it?

Why do we create more stress for ourselves than is necessary? Why, why, why? I know that it's hard to minimize and get rid of stress in our lives. I also know that it is possible. A while back John went to see a doctor and talk about depression with him and ways it could be treated. He did this because he had two sibling on anti-depressants and another that had been on them when he was younger. They were all convinced that they had a chemical imbalance and that they got this from their father. I don't know if this is or true of not, but I'm not a big fan of these types of drugs. Unless used correctly. I don't feel that just taking the pill is enough, you have to take other steps to help yourself. That said I will get back to the point. After John saw the doctor, he was on Paxil for about 2 months. He had terrible side effects, couldn't sleep and hated having to take a pill everyday to feel better. He did however feel better, but that wasn't how he wanted it to be. He went off the medication and we did lots of independent research on how to de-stress our lives and other methods to deal with depression. Things got much better, our lives became much happier, we talked more, fought less and laughed more. We also ended up getting pregnant, while on birth control which was a big sign to us that it was the correct time and we were being sent a child because we needed it. That too ended up being correct. A few months after we found out we were going to have a baby, Melissa and Travis found out they were going to have a baby as well. Melissa decided that she wanted to go off her anti-depressants like John had. She could do it without them and she would be fine. Besides if John could do it so could she. We were happy for her, gave her some suggestions, and wished her the best of luck! Now keep in mind that I've never dealt with depression before and the only things I know are from personal experience and the reading I've done. That girl needs to go back on her pills. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world will someone make her go back on the pills. She needs that daily happy boost. She really, truly does. I liked her better when she was taking them. John's depression and anxiety was not severe. Most of it was self inflicted. Most of mine lately has been self inflicted. I've created a stressful environment for myself and brought more stress in my life than I need. John admits that he felt stressed out more than depressed. His sister admits that she feels more stressed out than anything else. The difference? It's simple really. John and I took steps to de-stress and un-junk our lives. She has not. In my mind that's all there is to it. I could be way off base, and it's not my place to judge, but I truly feel that it would help her. The reason I feel this way stems from a 2 hour long conversation John and I had last night. I was telling him how stressed I had been feeling and how I felt everything was piling up on me. I wrote about it here, and shared some more feelings with him. We had talked about some ways that he could help me and many ways I could help myself. We also recalled how things had been before we took this additional steps in our lives. That got us about other people in our lives that have been feeling the same way and how we wish they could figure it out. Melissa was the first person we brought up. She has been creating so much of her own stress and anxiety, but not finding ways to minimize it. We have both tried to give her some suggestions, as have other members of the family, but she just gets angry when we say anything. I feel badly for her, and more so for John because he has to sit back and watch her struggle. I'm just so grateful that I've been feeling better myself. This weekend was a wonderful three day block of nothing. Wonderful, quiet, empty, relaxing nothing! I love doing nothing. I slept in 2 days in a row, watched far too many movies, and spent good quality time with my husband, which in turn sparked this very long winded post. So if you are now thoroughly bored, you can blame it on him.

X-men - I'm surprised!

You Are Iceman

You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Great Grandma rallied! (for a moment)

Here is the latest on Great Grandma. I'm going up tomorrow night to see her. It will be the last time, I'm sure of it! I've had a feeling for several days that it would not be much past the end of the month. E-mail dated May 28th 2006:

Tonight about a quarter to nine Mom rallied.

Mom wanted peaches!!! and more peaches and then HURRY and get me some peaches!!!!! She ate two little bowls of pudding with peaches; then another bowl of peaches. (We have to feed her now.) Vickie called Bonnie (Hospice nurse) to see if it was okay and Bonnie said to give her whatever she wants. Mom then said, "MORE!" and Ed went to get more and she said, "Just kidding!" She got us all laughing!

We gave her medicine--darn! and she went back into lala land.

Everything is shutting down; kidney failure with only small amount of black urine; very jaundice; weak pulses; irregular breathing; hands turning dark; temperature of skin goes from hot to cold; etc. etc. She is seeing those on the other side, too.

Bonnie still thinks it will be a matter of hours.

It was fun to have some interaction with Mom tonight.

Movies

I love seeing movies in the theatre. I can get into them so much more. Even though we have a pretty big TV and surround sound, it's just not the same. The smell of popcorn, getting to eat red vines that we snuck in, holding hands, laughing at the dumb previews and wowing at the cool ones. There just really is nothing quite like it. X Men was awesome. I will give no spoilers here, but if you have enjoyed the series so far, you will love this one! The special effects were amazing. I loved the new characters they brought into the story. It had a different ending than I was expecting, but oh, what an ending. Also make sure and sit through all the credits so you can see the 30 second piece at the VERY end. It will blow you away. I drive my husband crazy during action and suspenseful movies. I get really loud and whatever I'm thinking just comes out of my mouth. Like the time I yelled "holy shit" during "Signs" even though I had already seen it! I was getting nervous at certain parts and getting closer and closer to him, all the while grabbing at his pant leg and his shirt. Finally he pushed me away and hissed "would you stop trying to rape me?!" That's my husband for ya. The really funny thing is that I didn't even realize that I was clutching at him so much. So, if you're into the whole super hero, comic book thing go see this one, while it's still in the theatre and then let me know what you think.

Letter - Meme

I was tagged by Dawn to do this letter meme. Then like the ditz that I am, forgot to do it. I was sitting here thinking what am I going to post about before I go to bed? Then it hits me "wasn't I supposed to do a meme?" I couldn't even remember what letter I had. I had to go back to her blog and scan through all the archives until I found it. I've been assigned the letter "D". I have to write 10 words that start with "D" that mean something to me. It probably won't make sense to anyone else, but here I go. Hopefully this doesn't take me all night either. 1. Ditz - what I am most days 2. Dance - what I think I can do 3. Dogs - what I've always had growing up 4. Dark - what my husband's poetry is 5. Ducks - what my bathroom is decorated in 6. Denial - what I've been in many times 7. Down - how I've been feeling lately 8. Daisy - my fave flower, and my favorite dog as a kid 9. Dumped - what I've never had happen 10. Done - because I am Notice how my longest word is only 6 letters long? #1 is ringing true already. Thanks Dawn! If anyone else would like a letter, please let me know. Sorry it took me so long to remember that I was supposed to do this.

Friday, Friday, Friday

My hard woking husband actually got Memorial Day off this year. I'm so excited, I can hardly wait. We are going to have family time for three days straight. After this, this and this happening I really need the break from extended family. It will be just the three of us. Mommy, Daddy and Baby!! Our plans for the weekend include going to see this movie. Letting Kathryn have a slumber party at Grandmas house, which was my mom's idea, not mine. Going to a new petting zoo, that has over 100 animals. I don't know if it will be 100 of these, or 100 different species. Nonetheless I think it will be fun. We might go on a picnic at one of these, or maybe do this. I know you are probably going batty with this post and all the links, but after reading this, while I was here, I just couldn't help it.

Bug Bug Video

Here is a great video of Kathryn making all the crazy noises she does. I could laugh at her for hours when she is doing this!

How Quirky are you?

I stole this from 3T at Stumbling through life with Grace. It looked fun, and it was. I'm not as quirky as I thought I would be!

Your Quirk Factor: 59%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it. Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Thursday Thirteen - things

Thirteen Things I want to do before I die 1…. Visit Australia 2. Be Debt Free 3. Catch up on my scrapbooking 4. Have 3 more children 5. Have my dream home 6. Have something valuable to leave my posterity 7. Make more lifetime friends 8. Publish a poem 9. Convince my husband to be a journalist 10. Be succesful in my proffesion 11. Be a WAHM 12. Know that I helped someone, somewhere with something they couldn't have done themselves. 13. Live a good life and treat others as I would want to be treated. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Great Grandma Update #2

Today I got another e-mail from Grandma Bills regarding Great Grandma Harmon. I wanted to post part of it. Someday when Kathryn is older I want her to know what happened with her Great Great Grandma. Even though this update makes me very sad, I'm glad that I've been kept informed of what's going on and that I'm so close at a moments notice. "Mom is VERY yellow. Her legs are swelling. Her abdomen is swollen. She is often very incoherent. Sometimes she surprises me and is quite lucid and coherent. She wakes me up a lot at night....last night she got to the bathroom with her walker before I could get up and she stood at the sink wetting and wringing out a washcloth. When I asked her what she was doing, she said she was washing. 15 minutes later she was still "washing" --it is like obsessive/compulsive behavior. She is losing muscle tone and stability. Her skin doesn't fit any more in many places. She wants to know where she is. She says "those people here don't know anything." She usually recognizes me and is often very critical, but when she is, I know its not my Mother talking--its the illness. Hospice says the toxins are building up in her brain." "Mom hardly eats anything now. Her bowels are hardly functioning. She goes for days with only a few bites of food and some water and maybe a little milk. Then, she will sit up and eat a meal! I always offer her food and even try to feed her as her hands are often unsteady in getting the food to her mouth. But she eats so little! Says everything tastes awful. If something is good one time, the next time she gags on it. I was so happy that she liked root beer floats--even asked for a second one. They lost their appeal, so we tried cream soda (she says our water is AWFUL). That was okay for a day or two...now she is back to a little water. Tonight she asked for a drink of milk. She drank about 1/2 cup!!!" "When we know there is no way Mom can get better, it is hard to "wait" while she lingers and withers away. We are praying she will go softly and soon and that her suffering will be minimal. I would say that she is not suffering....it us just those of us watching her who do." We are all praying that she will go soon. My greatest fear for her is that it will be painful. On the lighter side of things Great Grandma would have been 80 in August and we were going to put her picture in the paper with a Birthday announcement. She was firmly set against that and didn't want everyone to see her picture. We joked with her at our last visit that her picture would now be in the paper whether she wanted it or not and, there is nothing she can do about. She chuckled and thought this was a funny thought.

Great Grandma Update - Painting

Aaarrrrgggghhhh!!!! Now that my anger has been released, let me just say how frustrating family can be at times. I have asked and asked what I can help with in regards to my Great Grandma. I always get the same answer, "everything is taken care of." It's like one of those stock answers that people use to get rid of you. I just hate it. Anyway, back to the original thought of this entry. I got an e-mail from an uncle saying how much he wished he lived closer so that he could help with the painting and cleaning and moving of things at Great Grandma's house. Closer?!! I only live 30 MINUTES away!! How much closer can you get?!! So I called my Aunt Suzanne, who has always been straight with me and asked if she needs any help. Her response, "oh, I'm so glad you called. I could really use the help. That would be so wonderful, when can you be here?" Finally I get someone who realizes and understands how close I am. She even apologized for not calling ME. Her comment was, "well we thought of you, but you guys work full time and have a baby." So what?!! When your family needs you, you make it happen! Besides that, I don't work 24 hours a day! I have time in the evenings and plenty of time on the weekends! Now that I've vented I feel so much better. I'm also glad that I will finally be able to do something to contribute. I've felt like such a useless lump sitting here not being ALLOWED to do anything. Much to John's joy, he will also be coming to help paint. He's such a great guy he worked from 7:30am-6:00pm then 7pm to 12am. That poor guy is dragging, but ready to go help were it's needed. I'm so grateful for him! ~update~ We are back from helping to paint and things are coming along nicely. It looks like we will be back tomorrow night. It was so nice to be helping, even though it wasn't much. Amy was there helping as well and it was nice to do some catching up with her. Suzanne made the comment that we needed a radio because it was so quiet. I got John talking and he talked their ears off about the difference between Nintentdo and XBox. It was so funny, because neither one of them cared, but they listened politely and it did fill the silence. ~

Happy Anniversary Sis

Happy Anniversary Cassi and James!!

I'm such a terrible sister. I totally forgot to call and wish my little sis Happy Anniversary. It was on the 20th and as you know we were gone that day, but still. To add to the guilt meter it's her first anniversary. I can't believe what a jerk I am. I feel terrible. I sent her an e-card and will call her when I get off from work tonight. ~sung annoyingly~ happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy anniversary, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy anniversary. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!~end of annoying singing~

Bear Lake Pictures

The View from Ben's house, out the back windows. The view from Ben's house out the front windows. The view from Tim's house from the kitchen. View of Bear Lake from the car window. Kathryn playing on the way to Bear Lake.

Bear Lake

I'm happy to report that I was not incarcerated over the weekend and that my MIL is still alive. In fact I'm even happier to report that she was really good throughout the trip and I didn't have any problems with her. I felt bad for her, I think she took her brother's death a lot harder than she expected. She was quite upset and we had a good talk about how he is now in a better place. The one that got to me this weekend was John's sister Melissa. She is such a stress case all the time, it makes me stressed out just to be around her. The tiniest thing can set her off sometimes and I just want to kick her. Usually we get along really well, but she was just annoying the piss out of me. We left early Saturday morning and made really good time on the way down. Kathryn didn't sleep except for about 45 minutes, but that was okay, we enjoyed the scenery. It was a beautiful day and I got a few good pictures through the windows of the mountains and lake. At one point we started to pass a bunch of mountain bikers. There were tons of them on the highway. Must have been some sort of training, or race. Anyway Katy thought that was kind of cool and I even got a picture of one small group of them. We got there with about 15 minutes to spare and went right over to the cemetery for the gravesite service. It was short and sweet, a few people shared memories and then they did the military gun salute. After the funeral there was a luncheon with the family and we had a nice time visiting. John's cousin Lauren was there with her little boy and husband James. We haven't seen them for a while so that was really nice. Also Richard was able to make it and Trish came with him. None of the kids came and it was kind of nice, because we actually got to talk to her this time. John especially had a nice chat with her and was really impressed that she came just to support Rich. Saturday afternoon we went up to look at the homes that Ben and Tim, John's twin cousins are building. The view was spectacular from up on the hill, I just couldn't get over it. John and I rode up with Ben and we had a really nice visit with him as well. Sunday we all went to church together then came back to the house for a picnic and some more visiting with family. We left about 3pm and got home just about 6 pm. Kathryn and I slept for the first 2 hours which we both needed after not sleeping very well the night before. The trip turned out much better than I thought it would and I stressed out for no reason, as usual. I also overpacked, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, so that was okay too. It was nice to get away even if it was short notice, I'm excited for our camping trip there in July.

Great Grandma Update

Here are a few bits and pieces of e-mails I received over the weekend regarding Great Grandma Harmon and her condition. We are praying harder than ever that she will go peacefully without any pain. Dated May 20th: Things are going okay. Grandma is failing and we are keeping things quiet. Only allowing visits of an hour or less now. Dated May 21st: Grandma is getting weaker and weaker. Hospice does not give her much time.

Vacation?

I left the office at 7pm tonight, usually I'm done by 6. My mom picked up Kathryn so I could focus on getting everything ready to go. By the time I got home and got everything rounded up, packed, loaded into the car, made a quick run to Target, picked up the baby and got home it was 10:30 I'm oddly a tiny bit excited to be going somewhere tomorrow. It will actually be our first weekend out of Idaho since Kathryn being born. Since we are going to be by the lake I packed swim suits just in case, but don't know if we'll get the chance to use them. I'll catch up with everything on Monday when I get back. I'm praying for good weather, a baby that sleeps in the car, safe travel and peace between the MIL and myself.

Left Brain Right Brain

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (54.8%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (45.2%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?(word pair test) personality tests by similarminds.com

So little time

I am just swamped today. I've got 2 meetings this morning, a lunch appointment, and clients this afternoon. It is going to be a crazy day. PLUS I've got to get home and not just get everything packed, but loaded up into the car. Another thing about having a baby is how much crap you need to take when you go somewhere. Especially since we will be gone the whole weekend. I'm going to make a checklist today so that as I'm packing I can add stuff and make sure I don't forget anything. Then when we leave I have something to check off and make sure I don't forget anything. I asked my husband this morning if he wanted anything special or specific packed. He's the easy one, "oh the usual, underwear, sock, 2 shirts, I'll wear the pants I'm wearing, dress slacks and a tie." I asked him if that was everything. "Probably should bring my toothbrush and deodorant." If I'd let him he would just wear the same clothes all weekend long, including underwear. Gross!! We have to be on the road no later the 7 am, ugh! I'm not a morning person that is usually when I'm getting out of bed, not out the door. Hubby is driving so I'm gonna sleep in the back with Kathryn. I'm bringing my pillow, blanket and The DaVinci Code to finish on the way. Hopefully The Bug will let me sleep a bit, honestly I'll be lucking if I get to read at all. I'll be back on Monday, if I'm not in jail by that time for murdering my MIL who will be riding down and back with us. We are also sharing a room with her. John already warned her that I'm PMSing and haven't been feeling quite like myself. Hopefully she will be cool and there won't be any issues. Plus my SIL from you know where isn't going so that will help things. Everyone gets so uptight when she is around. ~update: it just came to my attention that we need to leave by 6:30 a.m. double ugh!! Also check out this hilarius post by Mommy off the record about this very thing. Do you believe in Menstraul Synchrony? I do!!

Kathryn Update

• New teeth coming in. Katy's been biting and chewing on everything for about 10 days now. Her top gums are swollen, but no teeth yet.

• She is getting REALLY fast at the crawling thing. This morning she followed me from the front room, to her bedroom, to the bathroom and then into my bedroom. When she wants something she just takes off for it.

• She is saying more words everyday.
• Mamma
• Dadda
• Bompa (grandpa)
• uh-oh
• hello
• ball
• She is also trying to sing and I think she might be good at it. I will hum, or sing 4 notes and she will try to do it after me. She even changes her tone and note she's singing. I love listening to her little voice, it's so cute.

• She is really starting to recognize people and if she doesn't know you, she might not come to you. It used to be that she would go to anyone and be just fine.

• She is laughing more and giggling. She also fake coughs which is a riot to listen to. She will "cough" so hard that she will start to really choke, then her eyes get all big and she laughs at herself.

• She is noticing more of the world around her. About 2 weeks ago I noticed she was putting things up to her ears and then looking at me. I thought "is she talking on the phone?" Sure enough that is what she is doing. So now we sit across the room from each other and play phone, each with our hand on our ear.

• She is becoming very attached to her fleece blanket. She always liked it and we have a ton of them, but now she gets angry if I have it. This morning I was laying on the floor with it under my head and she comes booking over and starts tugging on it. When I wouldn't just give it up and told her to share she layed next to me with her head on part of the blanket. As soon as I wasn't looking though, she was pulling it away to have for herself.

• She is starting to get quite the temper. Oh my heck now I see why so many kids are spoiled. It sure would be easier to give into her yelling and screaming than listen to it sometimes.

• She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. Especially from her dad and Grandparents. All she has to do is a little fake "boo hoo, look how sad I am" and she gets picked up right away.

~Her birthday is getting closer and closer each day. We have been talking about a party, but I really don't think it's necessary. It's not like she is going to remember it or anything. I want just close family and friends over, but my MIL is about to have kittens and thinks is should be this enormous thing. I don't know how I feel about it yet. That update will have to follow later. I'm tired and need to get to bed. I've got to be to the office early tomorrow and still have to do laundry and get all packed tomorrow night for the weekend.

Thursday Thirteen - Movies

Thirteen movies I could watch over and over These are in no particular order 1. So I married an axe Murderer 2. Hope Floats 3. Spiderman 1 and 2 4. Harry Potter - all of them 5. Office Space 6. Sound of Music 7. My Fair Lady 8. RENT 9. Moulin Rouge 10. E.T. 11. Mary Poppins 12. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 13. Lilo and Stitch Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Please only leave a link if you have a CURRENT post. Thank you

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! It’s easy, and fun! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Heat

I just looked up at my SioScan atomic clock/thermometer/calendar thing and it says the current outdoor temperature is 112 degrees. What the heck!! This is Idaho, not Arizona!! I wonder if this thing is drastically off? If not I'm doubley grateful to be in an air conditioned basement office right now doing nothing. I'm so glad that John got the air conditioning unit all up and running Sunday night. I would hate to walk into my house tonight with out it! Good golly gosh!! ~update: I just looked on the Weather Channel website and they say that currently it's 85 degrees. Now that makes a bit more sense. gosh!~

It's everywhere

~note to reader: if you are in a good mood today, skip this post and come back Monday~ Death. We found out this morning that John's uncle passed away last night. Looks like we will be in Utah all weekend for the funeral. So much for de-stress. Not that it matters at this point, because this is obviously more important. I hate to be such a downer but this week it seems hard not to be down. I feel that if one more thing happens I'm going to split into pieces and not be able to put myself back together. Ironically I've never even met this uncle and he isn't a family favorite if you know what I mean, but losing someone is never easy regardless of how well you did or did not know them. I feel like I'm walking around in a stupor and that I'm withdrawling from things. I don't feel as cheerful and I'm completely unmotivated to do anything. I've never felt like this before and I can't help wondering if it's not a bit of the baby blues. Kathryn will be turning one in 6 weeks and that makes me oddly sad. If I don't start feeling more like myself within a few weeks, I'm going to start looking into some things to help because I just don't think this is normal.

What do you say?

I have hesitated in writing about this subject, because I get so emotional just thinking about it, but tonight seemed like a good time. Yesterday some good friends of ours had a funeral. They had a funeral for their 13 day old son. They had a funeral for their baby that was born at 28 weeks gestation. They had a funeral for their baby who was on life support for 5 days. What do you say to someone who has just lost a child? What do you say to someone who has just lost their second child (the first was a mis-carriage.)? What do you say to someone who's heart has just been broken beyond anything you've ever felt? You can see why this is so emotional. This couple has wanted so badly to have children and are having such a hard time getting them here. I feel selfish sharing stories with them about my own child, yet I don't feel as if I should walk on egg shells every time I talk to them. I don't want them, or myself to feel awkward when we visit, but I'm just not sure how to approach the situation. My heart breaks for them and my deepest prayers are with them. What more can you do? I have thought several times about sending them flowers, but that just doesn't come close to expressing my condolences and feelings. I've thought about a card, but every time I try to write one, I just break down. Having Kathryn with me every day I can only image the grief and pain they are feeling right now. I believe, as they do that everything happens for a reason, but seeing that right now is hard. ~Please keep in mind that I'm not really asking for anyone's opinion on this, but I would be open to any suggestions. Also please keep in mind that I treat this blog just as I do my personal journal and use it to get my feelings and thoughts out.~

Two Jobs

As most of you probably already know my husband works two jobs. One full time during the day and one part time in the evenings. It took me a long time to be able to fall asleep without him. It was so weird to be in our bed all by myself. It doesn't help that I'm afraid of the dark (I'm not joking.) John would come home and find EVERY light on in the house. It drives him nuts, but at least I was getting to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. The last 6 nights he's worked I can't fall asleep until he gets home. I try, I really do, but it just isn't working. I've even tried doing things to make me more tired, to no avail. I'm exhausted during the day and grumpy when I get home from work. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. At first I just thought it was the heat, but we've got our air conditioning going now so it can't be that. I thought maybe because of all the family stuff that's going on I'm too stressed out to sleep. Then I thought maybe I've just been to stressed about my Great Grandma. I don't think that's it either though, because the night's John is home I sleep fine. I just haven't been feeling good in general and I don't know how to get out of this funk. We are going to spend the WHOLE weekend at home and try to de-stress, maybe that will help.

Hair

Katy got her second hair cut over the weekend, thanks to my mother. I had mentioned in passing that Katy needed a bit of a trim, because she was getting "“wings"” on the side of her head again.

So my mom took the liberty of getting her hair cut, ALL over on Saturday. I was just being able to put it up in little pigtails and they were so cute. My mom had Denise (our beautician neighbor) blend everything together and while it looks better on the sides, it'’s not long enough to put in pigtails. I could of just screamed when I saw it. Here I was having big plans of pigtails with ribbons for her first birthday and now it won'’t work. phooey

My dear, dear Mother

On Saturday my sister mentioned how much she likes reading my blog and keeping up with everything that is going on with us. With her living in another state it's been a great way for her to keep up to date. Especially having a baby, things change on a daily basis. My mom overheard her and wanted to know why I hadn't let her know about my blog. So I kind of looked sheepishly at my sister and commented that I didn't know if it would be something she'd want to read. She got all bent out of shape and said, "why wouldn't you want your mother to read it? I want to know what's going on too!" Now I don't know what to do. On one hand it might be fun for her to read it, on the other hand I don't think I want her to read it. My sister knows how I like to rant and get on little tangents, but my mom not so much. It's not that I don't ever rant to my mom, it's just that I do it a bit differently. Besides the fact that my mom lives in the same city as us and only a few minutes away. She talks to me several times a week and we usually see her twice a week. I think for the most part she already knows what is going on. Also I think it might make me paranoid of what I post because in the back of my mind it will be like, "what if my mom reads this?" If she starts reading it I have to keep everything SUPER appropriate and I just don't know if I can handle that type of pressure, lol.

Mothers Day

We had a really nice weekend with family and getting to see Great Grandma. She is getting so tired so easily. She got up at 9 am, had breakfast went back to bed about 10:30 and didn't get up until 2 p.m. All of HER children were there today and she was really excited about that. It was nice for her to get to see all of her kids home again. I'm so glad that we only live 45 minutes away from her, everyone else had to come so far. Even though our town is small and I sometimes wish there was more to do I'm grateful everyday that I live close to most of my family. My first mother's day was really nice. It is so weird to be given a gift and stuff for it. I kind of feel old, even though I'm a young mom. I never thought I would be a Mommy at this age. I wouldn't trade any part of it though. It's been a long year, my little sister's anniversary is coming up next week and I remember sitting at her wedding reception with my feet up, because they were so swollen. In all the wedding pictures, I'm holding her bouquet in front of my belly to try and hide it a bit, because I was SO huge. Almost exactly one month later I gave birth to Kathryn.

Baby Intuition

Our visit with Great Grandma went really well today. We got to hear some of our favorite stories and have a good visit. Grandma had found some more things she wanted us to have. They had also found some Mother's Day cards from years past that we had fun going through. The weather was wonderful, so we spent some time outside soaking up the rays. We got Kathryn on the trampoline for the first time and she thought that was just a riot. When we would stop bouncing, she would try and do it herself. Grandma has had a rough week and they have changed and increased some of her medications. She is getting more and more jaundiced, her skin is the color of a tonka truck. She had a few nights of no sleep and restlessness. Her sense of time is way out of wack and she seems disoriented at times. She wanted to take a shower at 2 a.m. this morning and she didn't understand why they wanted her to go back to bed instead. I honestly don't think she will make it to Kathryn's first birthday, in about 5 weeks. Kathryn was so adorable with her when it was time to go. Katy is usually so wiggly and really not much of a snuggler. As soon as Great Grandma got her in her arms though it was a totally different story. She layed back, just staring up at Grandma's face, and kept reaching up ever so gently trying to touch it. She also kept leaning in for kisses, again very gentle like. She wasn't overly anxious to come back to me either. It was like she knew that this was the last time Grandma would be able to hold her. It just about broke my heart in two to see them like that together, one just fresh from heaven and one soon to return. The worst part was that my camera batteries were dead, so I couldn't take any photos or video.

I'm running out of clever titles

I've forgotten how wonderful staying up late and sleeping late, with no interruptions feels. I miss my baby like crazy and am leaving in just a minute to go see her, but man was that nice. John and I went out for dinner last night, I got to eat without having someone yelling "mama" and have conversation with out being sidetracked and then forgetting what I was talking about. I got to act silly at the video store and sing at the top of my lungs while walking down the street. I got to hold my husbands hand, instead of carrying piles of toys and blankets. I got to turn the stereo up and dance while cleaning the kitchen without worrying about someone being woken up. I even got to snuggle all by myself with John and not have to share. I commented to the husband last night that it almost felt like "before we were parents." He just looked at me and shook his head, "yeah right, except that we miss her right now." He of course was right. Even though the night was awesome I did miss her and even thought I heard her crying in the middle of the night. I love being a mom 100% of the time, I'm just 100% grateful when I get a little break.

Comments

I know this is really dumb, but I was so excited that I got so many comments yesterday! Being a new blogger and all it was so nice to know that someone actually READS this. Also Sugar Mamma from Want a Little Sugar in my Bowl even made a direct link to my blog from hers. Thanks Sugar, that was awesome. To my three faithful readers and commenters out there, you ladies are the best. I love reading about what's going on in your lives. You each crack me up in your own special way. (BTW my three readers are Sugar Mamma, BlondeBlogger, and Trish. Go check em' out!)

Sister

My little sister is coming today. I'm so excited to see her again. I'm also really excited because everytime she comes she wants to have a slumber party with Kathryn, which means sleep for me. We have a lot planned for the weekend. Tomorrow morning we are going to finish our mothers day gifts. Then we are going to see Great Grandma all afternoon. We are going to have a movie night at our parents house, but girls only. Cassi wants to keep Katy again that night, so after we've stayed up late gabbing I'll crawl home to bed. Sunday we are going to go back to see Great Grandma and stay with her so everyone else can go to church. Then it's time for my sis to go back to her own home. I wish that she lived closer. Then I'd have a free babysitter all the time!!

Evolution of Dance

Make it stop!!

My baby is growing up way to fast. Kathryn stood on her OWN tonight. She zoomed over to the foot rest on the couch and pulled herself right up. I was so shocked all I could do was stare. Then it hit me what she had really done. "Honey, honey look, look at your daughter." As soon as John saw what she had done he started staring too. "When did she start that?" he asked. I remembered to close my mouth before answering. "Right now. That's the first time she's ever done it!" I can hardly wait to tell my mom, who was just saying tonight how it wouldn't be long before she started walking. Mom if you only knew how powerful your words were. WOW!!

Tech Support

I finally got my new Top Producer program running and I'm so excited. Now if I could only figure out how to use it!! It has taken almost a week to get all my data transferred into the new program, so I hope it's worth it. The tech guy I've been working with has been so helpful and I think I already said this, but it's the best Tech Support I've ever received. However, this guy has the most MONOTONE voice I've ever heard. More monotone than Ben Stein. Is that even possible? I submit that it is not! I tell the guy in a big, happy, wow you're the greatest voice "thank you so much for all your help. You've been just great with everything and I truly appreciate everything you've done." He answers back with a very mellow, monotone, boring, "you're welcome, have a nice day." If you've ever talked to me you will know how animated I get and how my voice is always changing with emotion. This guy was born for tech support, he just sounded so .......... ....... support-ful!! (I don't think that's even a real word!)

I've never been so insulted

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Thursday Thirteen - embarrasing

Thirteen Embarrassing Things about Jenn I once fell UP the concrete steps from my basement apartment, hit the bridge of my nose, and ended up with two black eyes. I met my now husband three days later and still had the black eyes. One afternoon I couldn’t get my car started. So I had my friend try and jump me, but it wouldn’t work. Finally I had my Dad come over to help me. He took one look at it and said “well honey, if you put it in drive, I think it would be fine.” 2 weeks later, with the same car I couldn’t get the window to roll up in the back. It was spring time and it was raining a lot. I had the window all covered with duct tape and plastic so I wouldn’t get wet. Again my Dad came to look at it and said “well honey, if you push the window lock button, I think it would be fine.” The next day my dad recounted these stories at a family gathering and announced to the whole group that maybe I needed a copy of ‘Subaru’s for Dummies’ – thanks Dad. I can’t fall asleep unless both my ears are covered. If there exposed the vampires might get them. (This is a childhood fear, instilled by my dear old Dad.) My mom and I were making fudge, and had a candy thermometer in it, to make sure it was done. It was boiling at a very high temp. When I was done stirring it, I took the spoon out of the pan, and licked it. I turned to my mom with wide eyes and said “that’s really, really, hot!” I couldn’t taste anything for weeks, due to all my taste buds being burnt off. I had never watched an episode of the Simpsons until after I got married. I threw up on my first date, because I was so nervous. I don’t even remember who my first date was with. I used to wear glitter on my eyelids like it was the coolest thing ever. It wasn’t the coolest thing ever! In junior high I didn’t brush my hair for three months. It got so tangled and ratty that eventually my aunt had to cut it all off. I looked like a boy and it took forever for my hair to grow back out. The first time I got pulled over, I cried so hard I could barely breathe. The dumb thing was that the cop didn’t stop me to give me a ticket or because I was speeding. He stopped me to ask if I knew my tail light was out, which I wasn’t aware of. He felt so bad, he followed me home to make sure I made it okay. When I was in 2nd grade I used to chase this boy named Coleman. After I caught him I would pull on his ears until they were bright red. I didn’t see that boy again until high school and I could barely look at him, I was so embarrassed. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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Work sucks, but you get the Bucks

Work is so dead today and I wish I didn't have to be here today. I hate it when it's slow. I would rather be rushing to meet a deadline and be buried with stuff than have NOTHING to do. It's driving me a bit batty. The worst thing is that I could be doing nothing from home. Now that we have the remote access hooked up I can get all my office files on my home computer. I could be at home staring blankly at the computer as easily as I could here. At home I might be able to get some laundry done, or vacuum or something. They want me to stay here though, to be in the office in case someone stops in. I'm not complaining and I see their point, it's just boring as all heck. While we're on the subject of work. John only works one night this week at his second job. He only works for 5 hours total this week at his second job. I'm about ready to tell him to just bag the whole thing. What good does it do if they never schedule him. I guess in a way it's good, because he isn't as stressed or tired, but still it seems kind of pointless to me. I guess as long as he is okay with it, there's no reason for me to really care. I'll just be so grateful in August when he can be done there and I can have him home with me and Kathryn every night. Besides I don't want to work two job, so I'm not going to say a thing.

Queen of Drama

That description would fit John's sister Melissa. I love her to death and we are really good friends. We share a lot of the same interests and hobbies. In spite of all our similarities, we are so very, very different. She freaks out over the silliest things and is such a drama queen. I ended up going to lunch with her yesterday, which was really nice because we haven't had any girl time for a while. She was telling me this LONG story about HER mother in law, and how nosy she is and how rude she is and how she always butts into everything. I was trying not to laugh at her, because I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I must be more layed back than she is. Anyway she wanted to know what I thought, since I was seeing things from the outside perspective. What am I supposed to say? Answer 1: "Well I think you're just stressed out and you read way too much into it. Let it go, it's not that big of a deal." Answer 2: "Who cares what your mother in law thinks. For all I care she can go climb a tree." Answer 3: (which is the one I gave) "You're right, she was being nosy and you have every right to be mad about it. Answer 4: "Sounds just like my mother in law. They all do it sometimes." Remember though, her mom is my MIL. So this response is right out the window. Why do I always do that? That wasn't really the way that I felt, but there are certain people at certain time that I just can't be straight with. If I had given her any other answer she would have had a fit. I think she just needed someone to vent to and feel a bit validated on her own feelings. No one want to get their frustrations out only to be told they shouldn't feel that way. The joys of family are surrounding me once again. On a happy note, my sister is coming this weekend and wants to take the baby overnight on Friday. That is going to be so awesome. John for once doesn't have to work that night so we will not only be able to sleep in the next morning, but have a night for just mommy and daddy time. We all know what that means, wink, wink!!

Pink Polka Dots

Here is my girl doing the grin she learned from her mom. Funny how it's cuter when she does it then when I do.

Step one accomplished

Katy has finally mastered the art of the sippy cup. For the longest time she would just chew on them, but couldn't really figure them out. Then I found some that were not spill proof that she did pretty well with, but there were lots of, well spills. She just couldn't figure out the sucking thing on the spill proof ones. Yesterday however she kept trying to suck out of my straw and finally did it, so I though what the heck let's give the other cups a try one more time. Well lo and behold she got it. Two days later and she has figured out not only how to hold it by the handles, but to lean her head back and tip it up. Everything she does, no matter how small is such a big deal to me. Every thing is new through her eyes and I just love it. It makes me happy also that she is figuring these things out, because it makes my life a bit easier.

Babies and Puppies

There is nothing cuter than babies, or puppies. Unless you put the two together. Katy spent all afternoon playing with Harley. I think she has found her new best friend!

Sunday Visitations

So I ended up not going to see John's family yesterday. My nephews had an ordination thing at church that I wanted to show my support at. Then afterward we stayed for part of church and then went back to my brothers house for a BBQ. By the time that was all over and done with it was too late for me to drive all the way out to his parents house. The day was great, I really enjoyed getting to see everyone. We don't get to visit my brothers family very often. Part of that is we don't get invited very often and the other part is because he is such a drunken ass that I don't like to be over there much. Yesterday however my brother was actually pleasant to be around. He even apologized for never coming to see our house and being such a crappy brother. That was weird, but really meant a lot. It was nice to hear him be somewhat humbled and realize that he has made mistakes. He was also really cute with Katy which was also funny. At Christmas he wouldn't even hold her, because he "might break her." Not yesterday though, he was playing with her and kept wanting to hold her. In fact he was being a bit of a baby hog, but that's okay. The only negative thing about yesterday is that once again, I'm in trouble with John's family. I guess I better back up a bit first. John went up to his parents house in the early afternoon and I was supposed to be up there later to see everyone. Well like I said I didn't make it up there. Now I'm in trouble, because his sister didn't get to see Kathryn and really wanted to. I don't know what the big deal is, she just saw her 2 weeks ago and will get to see her again soon. Also his mom was really looking forward to seeing her. I really get sick of all the drama with them. Instead of being understanding that I don't see my brother's family very often, they freak out and get mad about it. I love my in laws, but that is the one thing that just about drives me up a wall. Plus next weekend my sister is going to be here, and we are all going to see Great Grandma. Since it's Mothers Day I'm going to spend the day with my mom and Grandma and John is going to spend the day with his mom and is going to take the baby with him that day. It's something that will be easier on all of us. So his mom will get to have Katy all next weekend, AND his mom is watching Katy today, so I don't know what the big deal is. The most annoying thing is that the next time I see them, it will be no big deal and no one will ever say anything to me about it. They will just bitch to John behind my back instead. The joys of intergrating families!!

Gummies

Birthdays

We went to a birthday party today for my 2 nephews. Their birthday's are only 4 days apart, so there is just one party for both of them. It was pretty fun and the weather was so beautiful. We got to sit outside and soak up the sunshine. Katy was so good for the whole 2 and 1/2 hours we were there. She was crawling all over the place and she kept going back and forth between, Grandma and me. She really liked playing with Harley, their boxer puppy. Usually she just screams when she is around dogs, but not with Harley. She kept chasing after her, it was so cute. I think Harley just wanted to be friends with Katy because she kept sharing her biscuit with her. Katy was trying to crawl with it in her hand and Harley was just trailing after her, cleaning up all the crumbs. We are going to visit John's parents tomorrow afternoon. His sister and BIL will also be there with their kids. I hope the warm weather holds, it is always so pretty on their property when the sun is shining.

Friday, Friday, Friday!

I spent about 80% of my work day on the phone with Tech Support. Nothing I like to do better, especially on Friday. I will note however that the company I was dealing with has the best Tech Support I've ever encountered. I had to hold for, let's see about 10 seconds. Then when the guy wasn't exactly sure what was wrong, instead of giving me some bull crap answer or solution, or placing me on hold for hours, got my phone number and politely asked if he could call me back. Here's the real clincher, he actually called me back. Miracles never cease to exist!! Even though I spent most of the day on the phone at least the time was pleasant and we resolved the problem. I'm one happy customer and Monday I will follow up with the guy's supervisor so I can give a raving review of what a wonderful employee he is!! I hope that helps him get a raise or something nice. If nothing else I hope it makes his day, nothing like a happy customer to do that for you.

Would you buy these?

View more wacky packages.

I was sick of Pink

I don't even really like pink, so I'm not sure why I choose that template to begin with. I started to like pink when I had my daughter. Everything she owns is pink. But now I feel like I'm looking at pepto bismol all the time. It was also time for a change and I wanted something that fit my mood a bit better. What I'm really trying to do is save up for a complete re design from Blog Togs. Cat does just wonderful blog design and I'm jealous of all that have a site done by her. I've got to talk my husband into it first!! Wish me luck!!

New hobby for Hubby

My husband has decided to start his own blog, so go check it out. Before you do though, please keep in mind that his entire blog will be about Nintendo. If this doesn't interest you, then I wouldn't recommend visiting it. However if you have kids that are interested in gaming, or maybe spouses give them the heads up would ya!! I'm glad that I finally talked him into doing this. He comes home everynight and has something new to tell me about Nintendo and I've been telling him for months that he needed to start his own blog. We'll see how it goes. The only bad thing is that he wants me to proof everything before he posts it and I don't know if I have time for that!!

Morbid

Is it morbid to want to spend time in a cemetery? When you're living that is. I don't know why, but I love to wander around cemeteries. I like to look at the different headstones and the dates. I often wonder about the people who are buried there and what they did during their lifetimes. I always feel at peace when I'm walking through a cemetery. It also makes me feel sad sometimes, like when I find a grave for a child, or younger person. The other thing that makes me sad is when the gravesite looks abandoned, like no one has visited it for a very long time. I think the worst thing about dying would be no one remembering you, or visiting your grave to make sure it looked nice. I like to leave notes at graves of my deceased family members. Especially when I'm dealing with something I think they could help me with. When I was about 8, my favorite Grandma passed away. We were very close and it happened quite suddenly. I missed her the most at night and would often have nightmares about her. When this would happen my mom would have me write her a letter and tell her what was on my mind. All my journal entries for about the next 4 years were letters to my Grandma. I guess that's were I get it, but somehow it just seems comforting to get your thoughts out and know that your loved one is watching over you and seeing everything you write. My Great Grandma being so sick is what got me on this subject I guess. Her grave will be too far away to visit very often, because she will be taken to be buried next to my Grandpa. It makes me sad that there will be no one there to look after her gravesite and leave her notes. Maybe I will have to write a few in my journal for her!

Family. Isn't it about time?

Time for what? Mine is driving me batty!! I ran into my older brother last night at the grocery store and got the guilt trip because he hasn't seen my baby for 2 months. Well, whose fault is that? I've lived in my house for 2 years now and he has never been to see it!! Everytime I see him, the first thing out of his mouth is "when are you going to come see me?" I hate that!! You know it works both ways. If you want to see my baby, come see her. Why does it always have to be on HIS terms? Also he wanted to know why I never return his phone calls. What phone calls? He never calls me for anything. Well that's not true, he calls if he wants something from me. I just hate running around to all these other people's houses and them not returning the favor. I'm a full time mom and a full time career woman, I don't have time to run all over the place and make sure that YOU get to see my child. Some members of my family understand this concept and try to help. My mom comes and gets the baby herself. That way she can have Grandma time and I can have alone time, which makes us both happy. My grandma has come from Boise twice to see Katy, just because she know that I can't make it over there for a while. I'm done venting for the moment, and now I feel better. Seriously though, I love my family ALL of them! I just get tired of the constant jumping through hoops to go see everyone else. I already have a lot of stress in my life without trying to fit in play dates with everyone. Also I'm a bit more focused right now on spending as much time with Grandma Harmon as I can. I think spending time with her is a bit more important right now.

Stupid HTML

I had changed some things on my side bar today and was all excited about it. I'm finally figuring out some of this HTML stuff, or so I thought. I actually goofed it really bad and none of the links would work, but I figured it out now. Yeah!! Now if I could just figure out how to link to things that aren't other people's pages, I might actually be making progress. Any tips on a good resource to teach myself HTML? I'm in dire need of some direction. Thanks!! UPDATE - apparently I'm just retarded and after staring at the lines and lines of HTML code I figured out what I had done wrong, - and = are not quite the same thing. Now all my links work, but I'm still in serious need of help!

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Jenn I really hate it when people don’t use their turn signals. Whenever I call my best friend we end the conversation with “luv ya.” My husband is the most romantic person I know. I love to read historical fiction I just had my first ice cream of the summer. It was better than I thought it would be. Ducks are really cool. Someday I want to have a pet duck. My cat is mentally disturbed and it frightens me! Once when I was in high school I was shopping at the dollar store and accidentally stole a hair tie (I put it on my wrist and didn’t realize until I got home. I was really, really embarrassed when I had to go back to the store and give them another dollar. As a kid I had a recurring dream about a witch and it would scare me so bad I couldn’t sleep. My sister used to let me crawl in bed with her, so I could fall back asleep. The best type of friend is the one you don’t talk to for 6 months, but when you do it’s as if no time has passed. My in-laws are far too dramatic, but I love them anyway. I’m a bit of a drama queen myself. I collect dumb things. Like shoes and hand bags that I will never wear or use.

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Shouldn't this read "Road Closed?"

Make your own hazardous road sign here. This is kind of an inside joke between me and John. Anyone familiar with Brian Reagan? If you are, this will make perfect sense to you. If not, well it's just dang funny!!

Mothers Day

It will be here in a few short weeks. I'm kind of excited because this is the first mothers day that I will be a mother. I'm also excited because my sister is coming to visit and we'll get to hang out. This is the first time she has ever come without her husband. In a way it will be kind of nice. My husband will be doing stuff with his mom and he is going to take the baby, so it will be just us girls (my mom, my sis and me.) That's how it always used to be growing up, just us girls. My dad worked funny hours and isn't exactly a "social butterfly" if you know what I mean. My mom took us on lots of fun trips and adventures. At the time I complained a lot, but it was always fun and we've had some really good times. Hopefully we can do something out of the ordinary that weekend she is here. We will be going to spend some time with Great Grandma that weekend, but I want it to be fun. I'm getting a bit depressed with all this sad stuff going on. We all know that grandma isn't going to make it much longer, but we all know that we'll be in heaven again some day. Also grandma herself said she is grateful that it won't be drug out forever. She is in a lot of pain and it will be better for her to go faster, than slower. As much as this breaks my heart, I know how things are and have always been one to look ahead to better times. I also have 100% faith that this will end on God's terms. He know how much longer she needs to be here and she won't leave a moment earlier. She is content with things and ready to move on I think. She has lived a long time without Grampa and I know she is ready to see him again and I know he will be waiting for her.

I wish this was about me!!

Make your own clipping here

Chocolate

Some things are just too beautiful to eat. These creations made of chocolate for instance. My cousin is graduating from Culinary Arts school in June and these are some of the things she has made recently. I can't wait to try some of the yummy things she has learned. I'm really excited and proud that she will be graduating. She has had a lot to deal with in her life and it's impressive how far she has come.