Monday, May 29, 2006

Why do we do it?

Why do we create more stress for ourselves than is necessary? Why, why, why? I know that it's hard to minimize and get rid of stress in our lives. I also know that it is possible. A while back John went to see a doctor and talk about depression with him and ways it could be treated. He did this because he had two sibling on anti-depressants and another that had been on them when he was younger. They were all convinced that they had a chemical imbalance and that they got this from their father. I don't know if this is or true of not, but I'm not a big fan of these types of drugs. Unless used correctly. I don't feel that just taking the pill is enough, you have to take other steps to help yourself. That said I will get back to the point. After John saw the doctor, he was on Paxil for about 2 months. He had terrible side effects, couldn't sleep and hated having to take a pill everyday to feel better. He did however feel better, but that wasn't how he wanted it to be. He went off the medication and we did lots of independent research on how to de-stress our lives and other methods to deal with depression. Things got much better, our lives became much happier, we talked more, fought less and laughed more. We also ended up getting pregnant, while on birth control which was a big sign to us that it was the correct time and we were being sent a child because we needed it. That too ended up being correct. A few months after we found out we were going to have a baby, Melissa and Travis found out they were going to have a baby as well. Melissa decided that she wanted to go off her anti-depressants like John had. She could do it without them and she would be fine. Besides if John could do it so could she. We were happy for her, gave her some suggestions, and wished her the best of luck! Now keep in mind that I've never dealt with depression before and the only things I know are from personal experience and the reading I've done. That girl needs to go back on her pills. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world will someone make her go back on the pills. She needs that daily happy boost. She really, truly does. I liked her better when she was taking them. John's depression and anxiety was not severe. Most of it was self inflicted. Most of mine lately has been self inflicted. I've created a stressful environment for myself and brought more stress in my life than I need. John admits that he felt stressed out more than depressed. His sister admits that she feels more stressed out than anything else. The difference? It's simple really. John and I took steps to de-stress and un-junk our lives. She has not. In my mind that's all there is to it. I could be way off base, and it's not my place to judge, but I truly feel that it would help her. The reason I feel this way stems from a 2 hour long conversation John and I had last night. I was telling him how stressed I had been feeling and how I felt everything was piling up on me. I wrote about it here, and shared some more feelings with him. We had talked about some ways that he could help me and many ways I could help myself. We also recalled how things had been before we took this additional steps in our lives. That got us about other people in our lives that have been feeling the same way and how we wish they could figure it out. Melissa was the first person we brought up. She has been creating so much of her own stress and anxiety, but not finding ways to minimize it. We have both tried to give her some suggestions, as have other members of the family, but she just gets angry when we say anything. I feel badly for her, and more so for John because he has to sit back and watch her struggle. I'm just so grateful that I've been feeling better myself. This weekend was a wonderful three day block of nothing. Wonderful, quiet, empty, relaxing nothing! I love doing nothing. I slept in 2 days in a row, watched far too many movies, and spent good quality time with my husband, which in turn sparked this very long winded post. So if you are now thoroughly bored, you can blame it on him.


3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

I think you two have it right. We all need to look at de-stressing our lives some. Slowing down, stepping out of the proverbial rat-race enough to take a long look at our lifestyle's and what we can change to make it better.

I LOVE a weekend of nothingness too! Good for the two of you! Every now and then I think everyone's mental health needs a nothingness weekend. :-)

I hope Melissa is able to figure things out for herself. Sometimes it just needs to be that person's guys have planted the seeds, and hopefully she will come around to what is best for her.

Glad you enjoyed your weekend.


Trish said...

I have to agree with 3t. People have to figure things out for themselves or they get all snarly and resentful. Hopefully, Melissa will take your advice under consideration - or maybe she'll just get tired of feeling the way she does and go back on the pills. Tough love, but sometimes struggling is how we learn life's lessons.

Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend. Mine was similar. No pressures. Nuthin' exciting.. just.. being. :)

Kel said...

Here, here on destressing your life.

When Little Man was 6/7 months old we moved. Nothing big there right? But I was the one that took care of EVERYTHING on top of being a brand new Mom. From that point on I totally started to withdraw and it wasn't until almost 2 years later that I got help. Prozac became my happy pill.

I ended up being diganosed with anxiety that lead into depression. I was on meds for 3 months before I was able to stop taking them. (I was pregnant at the time and didn't want to take them my whole pregnancy.)

I was able to get off of them because I did de-stress my life. Doing that works wonders!

Anyway before I write a novel I'm glad you are feeling better and that you had a great weekend. ((hugs))